Maisie From Newington's Big Festival Adventure: Day Seven

CRASH...

Picture the scene, top of South Bridge on the Royal Mile junction. It's chucking it down and I can barely see for the wind throwing water into my eyes, so I've spent most of the journey cycling with my eyes closed. However, they are open long enough to see that the light is green and I'm happily (well with a certain amount of rightful road rage- bloody cars, taxis, buses and tourists IN MY WAY, blatantly trying to make me fall off) cycling up the hill towards the left turn onto the Royal Mile when....... woops, stupid car in front of me stops suddenly for NO REASON WHATSOEVER and I whack into the back of him full force. Of course, the bastard doesn't get out the big metal killy box to see if I'm ok but just drives off again. I swear to god if I ever meet him again I'll strangle him with my break cables.

Hum. Conclusion is I need to get my breaks looked at because although I pulled them hard they don't really tend to work at all when it's wet and I have kind of had quite a few near misses and it was really pretty much an accident waiting to happen but still really not my fault entirely so...

I walk the rest of the way up the mile shoving stupid bloody tourists out my way and no thankyou very much I don't want to see your wanky stupid show you English Amatuer Thesp / American Impov Comedy Troup /Chinese Drumming (delete as appropriate) twat. It's my bloody city get out the smegging way I LIVE HERE I'm far more important than you I'm working I don't have time just FUCK OFF BACK TO YOUR OWN CITY FOR CHRISTSAKE AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE DO I LOOK LIKE I'M INTERESTED!? Ive just crashed my bike and I'd like to cry but I have to get to work ok? I deal with enough of you idiots there so bog off.

Thankyou.

ps. I hate the Festival